Wow! I always heard that motherhood was hard, but I never dreamed it would feel like this. It is absolutely the best feeling in the world. Addison is my world, along with Paul's too. Though, it is very challenging!
I am trying to be on a 3 hour schedule with Addison, as far as feeding is concerned. She seems to be going about every 3-3 1/2 hours, so that part has been okay. Breastfeeding, though, was not working for me. I couldn't get her to latch-on correctly, so I was bleeding and cracking quite a bit. I felt awful when I saw that I was bleeding into her mouth and that helped me to make my decision to pump and feed her the breastmilk in a bottle. This was working out pretty well. The only problem is that it is SO time consuming...pumping, then feeding her, was taking lots of time out of my nights. I felt like I was doing double duty. I am also trying to do a lot myself, as Paul is still working and going on interviews. I want him to get as much sleep as possible. I think I would have an easier time with this if we had a one-story house. This two-story really is a pain, going up and down the stairs a hundred times a night. Especially, right after a C-section. I've been trying to sleep on the couch downstairs with Addison in the pack-n-play. This definitely helps, but it's not ideal. I'd like to be in the same bed as my husband! So, I think I've decided to try to dry up and feed her formula. I have really debated about this and cried lots too! This would definitely help us to not have to go downstairs to get a bottle out of the refrigerator, going downstairs to pump and then put it in the refrigerator, and Paul would be able to help me out a lot more too. The downsides to this are (from what I hear) the diapers will stink, she may be allergic to the formula, and it will be more expensive. I think I could handle this though, as long as I had some relief to my pain. Plus, when Addison does have to go to the babysitter, she'll have to be on formula anyway. I won't be able to pump at work, so it will just be easier.
So, does anyone have any advice on how to dry up without much pain? I have tried to do some research on the internet and have talked to some friends. It looks like I'm going to need to buy some cabbage to help me out. I'm also going to have to try some cold compresses.
I know that there are many people who are going to read this and tell me that it does get easier and that I need to keep trying. Honestly, I need to hear from those of you who support me in this decision, rather than those who don't.
Pregnancy and Motherhood is definitely an emotional roller coaster! As I said earlier, I cry lots now!! I do know that this is normal, so I'm trying to take it in strides. Most of the time they are happy tears, but I definitely have those sad, or disheartening, ones too.
I would not trade any of this for the world though. I never realized how much I could love someone. I worry so much about the smallest things. I know it's because I'm a first time mom and am a Nervous Nelly. I want to make everything so perfect! Either way, she is absolutely adorable and is the light of my life. I still can't believe that I'm a mom!